A Melancholy Monday

“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.”

Christina Baldwin

I would not be the person I am without my journaling practice. It is the greatest act of self care I regularly participate in. Through it I’ve witnessed how draining sadness is AND how quickly it moves through. Sadness feels suffocating, like it will never end when we’re in the midst of it, but if we are able to watch our thoughts, maybe even learn to change them, the sadness fades and transforms into something else.

I’m a bit sad today. I’ve noticed patterns through my journaling practice. Mondays are often melancholy.

Today my focus is a relationship that needs great repair. I’m kinda making myself crazy trying to figure out how to make it right. For now I need to let it go.

My writing coach sent a prompt related to self care. She also sent this article which provides excellent tiny self care acts, things you can do in a few free minutes. I am partaking in some today.

Tiny Promises to Myself this Week (that I hope have big impact)

  • This week I will attend to my mind by journaling each time I have a situation that’s making me upset, crazy, sad, mad or generally uneasy. I will breathe and let things go.
  • This week I will attend to my body by moving in nature at least four days.
  • This week I will attend to my spirit by centering myself each day: breath work, writing practice, gentle movement, spiritual reading.

Have a beautiful week all!

Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash

A Quiet Friday Night

It’s Friday night; I’m home after a long day. I traveled to Holmes County today, ran work errands, caught up on email, then got things together for tomorrow’s event. I’m finally sitting down to write, sip wine, and enjoy the quiet. I stop, ponder the moment, marvel at how I got here without even noticing it.

I’m not referring to how I physically got here today. I’m talking about how I got here, in life. As I sit in a mostly noiseless house, I listen to the fridge hum and the dogs snore. I recognize that I’m in a totally different place than just five years ago — physically, mentally, spiritually. M was thirteen. We were busy all the time. And when we weren’t running for sports, school functions, and young teen hangouts, we were gathering with friends with kids in tow. Friday nights these days aren’t like they used to be. I don’t mind it, but there is some nostalgia and angst in looking back.

I’m settled. It feels nice. It occurs to me that I’m becoming my mom. I never thought I’d become her, and while I’m different in many ways, I never considered I’d be anything like her. (It’s not a bad thing. I just didn’t consider it.) I’m a homebody who prefers reading over most other activities, just like my mom. Maybe it’s that way for all of us. We don’t notice the way life moves, day by day. Suddenly we simply ‘arrive.’ Of course it’s been happening all along, but when life is busy, it’s hard to reflect. It’s hard to clearly see.

What happens next? Will I be more mindful in my middle years? Will I be more brave? I hope so. I think a lot about where I’ve been and where I’m going. This age has merit and context and, dare I say, wisdom? I look forward to my days. I don’t feel as though I’m going through the motions at all. I hope I never do. For now I believe I’ll enjoy this simple glass of Pinot Grigio in my quiet home, and bed before ten sounds amazing.



My Current Life Survey

A fun little exercise provided by my writing coach, a life survey: rate self from 1 – 10 with 10 being highest, 1 needs lots of work. I liked this exercise. It made me think about things I don’t normally think about. How will I ever meet my goals if I never take personal inventory of where I am and where I want to go? Try it for yourself.

Creative Support System: 5
My husband fully supports my personal endeavors and I have more time than I used to but I don’t have writing friends, or even friends who read a lot. (I would love to start a book club to keep my reading on track too.)

Readings/Forums/Blogs/Podcasts that center on writing: 5
I have a few writing books I have read and am reading but need a lot more support in this area.

Daily Rhythm/Routine: 8
I write every single day, always for work, and I now accomplish my personal writing goals more consistently than I used to.

Physical Health: 7
I feel good most days. I still need to eat more veggies and exercise regularly. I move my body a lot but not as much as I should.

Nutrition: 7
See above.

Social Life: 6
We have a circle of friends we can count on. I would like to meet more women that have similar interests as my own.

Professional Life: 8
I love my work. I am finally settling into a new rhythm. I want to grow professionally.

Family Life: 7
My family is small. Mostly it’s J & I home together, unless he’s traveling. M & I are well connected though I wish we spent more time together.

Time in nature: 9
We live in the middle of the woods. For this, I am truly grateful.

Reflection/Mindfulness/Spiritual Health: 9
My life centers around this.

Fun/Adventure/Trying New Things: 3
Needs work.

Outreach/Showing up for others: 7
I am here for my family and friends. I believe they know they can count on me.

Hobbies/Outlets/Creativity: 7
Writing soothes my soul above all else. I want to start knitting again this winter.

Communication with Writing Coach: 7
I feel I am responsive. I read all communication and do many of the prompts. They keep me focused.

Commitment to current writing goals: 7
I am writing each day but I need to dive back in to my book; it’s nearly complete but lacks direction.

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

H I !   I ‘ M   H E A T H E R   S A G E  . . . 

. . . a writer, blogger and yoga teacher (who rarely teaches in the traditional sense anymore). Also a softball mom, happy wife and flawed human doing the best I can. I love books, stationary, hot tea, wine, essential oils, quiet mornings, playing outside and many other simple things in life.

Life changes all the time. It’s the only constant. Beautiful, mundane, joyful, awful, insightful, random, the way things move through; my practice here is of ‘recording life.’ The name of this blog, on the 19, is where we live. Find more meaningful writing on soul fabric and Medium.